My husband is wise

My husband is wise.

We are celebrating 13 years of marriage and 18 years together. I love him. I adore him. I can't imagine my life without him and I am grateful to my 16 year old self for talking to him at a leadership conference.

We were recently talking to a friend at the beginning of a relationship. I put him on the spot and asked for his perspective on advice for relationships. Here's what he said:

1) Be with someone you like to do things with. 

A lot of life is doing things together, spending time together and talking. Find someone you like to talk to and want to spend time with. The best couples we know enjoy one another and the most awkward ones don't like to talk about the same things. It really helps if you enjoy some mutual hobbies and agree on where to spend some discretionary money. For example we both enjoy photography. If one of us didn't, it would be a lot more difficult to wake up early for the best light, take interesting diversions or spend $1000 on a lens. We both have our own things that take time, energy and money. We tend to bike and golf apart, but sometimes together. We like to travel. We like to eat out and try new places. We vacation similarly and don't like to sit around all day. Being comfortable with being together makes like easier.

2) Make life interesting.

Life is short. Don't be dull. Do interesting things. Go interesting places. Meet interesting people. Try new things.

3) Sometimes it won't be your turn, but do it anyway and do it without complaining.
Chores and household responsibilities will never be equal and they probably can't be.  With all sorts of responsibilities in life, it will not be your turn to do the dishes or change a diaper or go to a child who has awoken in the night. Do it anyway and don't complain. It will be more pleasant for everyone and make life better.

I am totally biased toward my husband, and I thought he summed these aspects of relationship up quite well. I hope some others find them useful.

And thanks, dear, for a wonderful, interesting life together. I'm so glad to have found such a wise and good partner.