Remembering

Farmers. Teachers. Singers. My younger sister placed flowers at our family graves this morning.  This responsibility falls to her as we have had too much tragedy in the generations older than us. It is important to honor and remember the dead and I thank my sister for doing the decoration duties in the cemeteries near our home farm.

A year ago at this time, I was reeling from the toll of 12 funerals for family and friends in 11 months. It felt like too much. It was a tough season of grieving and loss.

Celebrating being pregnant and now giving birth to Kiri has been a welcome season of life. There are certainly moments of grief as I mourn that she won’t be able to meet some really wonderful people who influenced my life.  Plenty of days hold special meaning and anniversaries that are marked and remembered with photos, stories, smiles and tears. 

Decoration Day, or Memorial Day, is a day to pause and remember. Soldiers, yes, but also all those who have sacrificed to make life better for us. Whether their uniform was from the military or was a simple apron, we need to reflect on those who have worked to make this world better for us.  

To all of them, I say thank you.

Baby Photo Comparison

There have been several requests to see our baby photos so feature comparisons can be made to Kiri.

Baby Ryan at hospital

Baby Ryan

Baby Kiri at hospital

Baby Kiri

Baby Britta at hospital

Baby Britta

PUPPPs and how it changed my pregnancy

Until a few weeks ago, I had never heard of PUPPS: Pruritic Urticarial Papules and Plaques of Pregnancy. Plague seems like the key word as it is basically a painful rash experienced by less than 1% of pregnant women in the last several weeks of pregnancy.  There is no cure and the best way to alleviate symptoms is to have the baby.

For me it started around week 36 as itchy raised red stretch marks around the belly. It stayed confined to my belly until week 38. Then, overnight, it spread across my body from neck to toes. It was alarming how quickly it spread. When I called the doctor’s office, the nurse told me this was quite common and to take some Benadryl and calamine lotion and then see my doctor at our appointment scheduled in two days. I did take some time to convince her of the alarming spread, but was left with reassurances that it was all quite common.  I spent the next two days in agony, the kind where you want to peel off your skin. That is when I googled pregnancy rash and first got the name for this condition - PUPPPs.

PUPPPs on my hand and arm

When I saw my doctor she was not happy with the nurse who spoke to me on the phone. From that point on, I never heard a practitioner who didn’t say severe or extreme before mentioning my PUPPPs. The doctor recommended immediate induction as the only way to combat the rash is to have the baby. A stress test showed that baby was still doing just fine. Other tests ruled out more alarming reasons for the rash. I wasn’t quite ready for the induction option as I wanted to make it to 39 weeks. So we made a plan to come back on Monday when we would reach 39 weeks. The new drugs from the doctors didn’t provide any more relief. Lukewarm baking soda baths were about the best I could do for temporary relief. This continued itchy pain meant that I was unable to really rest. Knowing that wasn’t something that could go on, we packed our bags and went to the doctor on Monday. They gave me the option to keep toughing it out, but highly recommended induction. However, the birthing unit was a bit busy so we were asked to come back to the hospital later that night. 

 

We were admitted at 6pm. I really liked the care I received at St. Joseph’s Hospital. It is a teaching hospital and my case of PUPPPs provided a teachable moment. Again all the doctors remarked how this was the worst case or one of the worst cases of PUPPPs they had seen. About 80% of my body was raised red and bubbly. I was more red than white.

 

Fast forward to Kiri Joy being born on Wednesday just after midnight via emergency c-section (a story for another time).  It was a wonderful time as we celebrated the birth of our daughter, the beginning of a new chapter in life and the end of a long labor ordeal. As for PUPPPs, it immediately stopped spreading which made me very happy. In the first 24 hours after birth the rash receded with remarkable speed. It didn’t fully go away, but the difference was marked. By the second day, the doctors were coming back and very amazed at how the rash had receded.  By the third day, itching was not my most severe symptom and I finally became more physically aware of the fact I had major surgery. 

 

However, on the fourth day as we headed home, my milk came in and the rash reappeared with velocity. Fortunately the reach was not as severe, and with the baby out, I was able to take some stronger steroids and antihistamines to combat the rash. While the drugs have helped in coping, I remain quite itchy to this day.  I remain hopeful that it should clear up about 6-8 weeks after the birth.

One of the small nice features of PUPPPs is that it does not go for your face.  So with long sleeves I simply look like a version of myself who has an itch. 

 

To anyone else who has or had PUPPPs, I feel for you and can relate. I wish I didn’t know about PUPPPs, but all in all, I had a healthy pregnancy and we got the end result we wanted – a healthy baby. Can’t wait to put this PUPPPs chapter behind me.

Present, Past and Future – A Mother’s Day Reflection

I am so blessed to spend this day with my precious bundle of Kiri Joy.  She has made me a mother. When I look at her I see so many things at once.

I see the here and now. Her perfect little features on her 6 pound peanut of a body. Delicate lips, fine dark brown hair, barely visible eyelashes, long slender fingers that curl to unfurl a tight grip. Her blue little eyes that study me as I study her. I drink her in as I know the time will fly and my little girl will never again be this little.

I also catch moments that remind me of the past. Was that an “Oh Forevermore” moment channeling Great Grandma Della? Was that sideways glance reminiscent of Grandma Norma? That wrinkled brow was all your daddy. Putting those hands by your face, is that what you favored in the womb?

I steal glimpses of her future. I can see her grown and independent telling me about her dreams. I can see her with longer hair and lots of confidence. I see her tired yawn and you can't get me out of bed as a teenager look. And there it is, less than two weeks old and she already has defined “what?” and “mom, you’ve got to be kidding me” looks.

Kiri, I look at you and see so many things – who you are, where you’ve come from and who you will grow to be. This Mother’s Day, I’m glad for my front row seat on this journey.

Kiri Card

Happy Baby Girl Thank You Card

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Announcing Kiri Joy